Faith is hard.
Every now and again I have this thought that creeps into my mind that says “You put some much faith in this God, but what if he isn’t even real? What if all your prayers are for nothing? What if there is no supreme being that truly cares about you?”
And each time I get scared and begin to think “what if?”
Then memories of my life flood before me. All my fears that were erased and dreams that came true. All of the incredible vistas I’ve seen and the faith filled people around the world that I’ve met and I know it isn’t true. God is so real. I see the proof every day, and moreover I know the truth in my heart.
And so I press on, believing in this God I’ve never seen, and trusting that his words are true, even when my culture screams “false!” and it’s hard. Faith. Is. Hard.
To shift the focus a bit.…
I have always felt spoken to through songs. It doesn’t come from all songs, and it doesn’t happen all the time, but every now and again a song will come into my life, and it’s just what I needed.
Sometimes I know it’s God speaking to me, like with Jesus Cultures “One Thing Remains,” and other times I know it’s words of encouragement from my brothers and sisters, reminding me of my goals and pushing me forward.
This last Wednesday I was helping out with my church’s youth group, and our lesson for the night was inspired by the song “Make a Move” by Royal Tailor. As we watched the music video, the words began to resonate with me.
This time, instead of the song speaking to me, it’s as if my words were the song. The exact words that had been on my heart were being strung together in a smooth melody…
Mr. Good Intentions, so much I wanna do
My mouth just keeps on running, but I never follow through
I heard that true religion, is love with hands and feet
I wanna find my own way to reach a world in need
Yeah, I’ve been captured by the unimportant
Locked in, and now it’s time to break free
There’s more to life
Open my eyes
Someone is needing You
So I gotta make a move
What good are words
When this world hurts
Real faith will come through
When I make a move
We don’t need permission, to go outside of these doors
And dream some crazy dream no one else has dreamed before
To show love and compassion
Whatever way it may be
To put faith into action, do more than just believe
We are hope to those who have been broken
We were made to make a difference
The preverbal “Mr. Good Intentions” is why I’m going to Bolivia. This is why I’m chucking my college education to the wayside and choosing to work for free.
In this American life it’s far to easy to be “captured by the unimportant.” I feel it already. My hopes, desires and motivations are dimming and slowly being replaced by consumerism and comfort.
The easiest move for me to make right now would be to find a job, leave my missionary days to the past and simply leave the stories of incredible things God did to special occasions. But for the most part I’d stay in my bubble. With the same friends and same routine. It would be comfortable, and easy.
But “what good are words when this world hurts?” I know better.
The American church is full of Christians who are happy talking the talk, but when it comes to walking the walk? Well someone else can do that. They say I can’t. I’ve got bills to pay, a family to feed, vacations to go on….
Where is the faith people?
While granted, not every Christian is called to pack their suitcases and move away, every single day we wake up and walk into the mission field. No matter where we live.
As Christians we should have this overwhelming feeling in our heart. A call to do more. To help the helpless. To comfort the broken. To hold the hurt, and to give to the needy.
Instead we rationalize these feelings away, choosing our culture instead of our faith.
But I just can’t. My eyes have already been opened. I know that there is someone that needs me, and right now that person, or people, whoever they are, are in Bolivia.
So this is my time to step out in “real faith.” This is my time to “make a move,” and put my “faith into action, do more than just believe.”
And I’ll admit every day is a challenge. I have to trust that I am making the right move. I have to believe that God will provide the money I need to raise and for the rest of my needs. I have to have faith that if this is my life long calling that he will have a way to not only take care of all my needs but my college debt as well.
And sometimes it’s so hard.
This faith thing is so hard… but at the same time it’s oh so sweet.